A year ago I was travelling in Europe with an old friend.

To get there I had to let go of my fear of flying and my fear of locking toilet doors.

You may think that is a strange phobia to have, to be afraid to lock the toilet door. I wonder if it has a name?

When I was about four years old, we visited our grandmother. She lived in an apartment block. This was in the fifties and the toilets were outside at the end of the yard. There was a row of six toilets, one each for the six apartments. My brother had been told to take me to the toilet and I do not know how it happened but when it was time for me to come out, the door would not open. I was stuck inside. Neville did not go and tell our parents, instead kicked a stone around the yard, so I spent an anxious time until Mum finally came looking for us. A few years later he locked me in the pantry in our house and told me there were rats in the roof and they would come down through the manhole, which was located in the ceiling of the pantry.  That increased my fear of being locked in any small room.

As I grew older I eventually got over the phobia of having to leave the door unlocked and then about four years ago, I couldn’t unlock the door in a public toilet in a shopping centre and that brought back all the old childhood fear.

From then on I would leave the toilet door unlocked and many a time someone has opened the door on me. While they are apologizing, I say, “No, not your fault, I have a phobia – I can’t bring myself to lock the door.”

When my friend Jenny asked me to fly to London, from Australia, and then join a bus tour of Europe, I knew I had to get over my fear of flying, and on the aeroplane I would have to lock the toilet door.

I had started to meditate a few months earlier. An exercise I learnt was, “Breathing in, I know this is an in-breath. Breathing out, I know this is an out-breath.”

That put my attention on the in- and out-breath and I let go of thinking and let go of fears. My breathing was the sole object of my attention and awareness.  I flew to Tasmania to say goodbye to relatives before the big trip and for the first hour of the flight, I sat and meditated. I then deliberately got up and went to the toilet. Still in a blissful state I entered and pushed the bolt across. No panic! I was so proud of myself I wanted to shout to the other passengers, “I locked the door!”

Of course they would have thought I was crazy, so instead I went back to my seat feeling so proud of myself for conquering my fear. I also conquered my fear of flying through meditation.

I learnt to conquer my fears. I came to realise that I could not enjoy life if I spent my time worrying about what happened yesterday and what might happen tomorrow. I learnt to live ‘in the now.’

Life is good!